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&In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths&

"Pain Is Not Prejudice"

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The world in which we all live is so full of prejudice that it seems very few people or things are exempt.  It seems the rich man is against the poor man and the poor man is against the rich man.  The white man is against the black man and the black man is against the white man.  Just about everyone or everything you can think of has a certain degree of prejudice involved.  Most businesses and public offices you go into these days carry a sign that reads something like, "We are an equal opportunity employer" or "We do not discriminate on a basis of race, creed, culture, religion, or sexual preference", and yet a closer look inside most of these places will reveal great bias.  There is one area of the life of men where all are included, no matter who or what you are.  That area of all our lives is that of pain.  We all suffer.  The book of Job tells us, "Yet man is born unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward."  Job 5:7.  This statement, like all the Bible is so very true and even though the pain and suffering affects us all and is not prejudice, the men who experience these trials and troubles often tend to be prejudice concerning those who are suffering.  We all suffer in one way or another.  Sometimes we suffer physical pain and sometimes we suffer emotional pain and sometimes we suffer financial troubles.  Sometimes we suffer legal troubles and sometimes we suffer spiritual trials.  There are many ways for man to suffer, but the one thing we all need when we face these times of trouble is a friend.  A real friend.  Unfortunately, many times when we suffer, we tend to find that those we trusted and considered to be our friends, forsake us.

God's Word gives us example after example of suffering.  Jesus Christ Himself, while here on this earth in the form of a man experienced the suffering of a man.  The Apostle Paul who was one of the greatest preachers to ever live suffered very many troubles.  Stephen, probably the greatest Deacon ever to live, suffered for the cause of Christ as he was stoned for that cause.  These are just a few of the examples God gives us, but each one of them have many of the same experiences.  In each of these examples, the sufferer experienced being forsaken.  The Lord Jesus came into this world to save man from his sins and yet the very ones who He came here to save hung Him on a cross.  While hanging there on that cross, He was human enough to feel that even God had forsaken Him as He cried, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"  Matthew 27:46.  The Apostle Paul experienced this same feeling of being forsaken when he was on trial for preaching the Gospel as we read, "At my first answer no man stood with me but all men forsook me:".  2 Timothy 4:16.  Stephen, was forsaken when he found himself before the council rebuking the unbelief of Israel.  "Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord, and cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul."  Acts 7:57-58.  If you would notice, one of the ones who forsook Stephen was Saul who later became Paul the apostle.

Now, we know from God's Word and from these great examples that no one is exempt from suffering and we can plainly see that people are capable of forsaking us.  So in order to better understand when this happens we need to know some of the reasons people will forsake us.  One such reason is that of inadequacy.  Sometimes people feel like there is nothing they can do to help us or they feel like they may say or do the wrong thing and make matters even worse.  So rather than try, they choose to not get involved.  Another reason people choose to abandon or forsake others in their time of trouble is one of identification.  Sometimes, there are those who are better known as fair weather friends.  These people really don't mind having many friends as long as everything is going great, but when trials and troubles arise they really don't want to be identified with the one who is suffering as it may tend to cast a bad reflection on them.  Another reason people sometimes forsake others in their time of trouble is that of jealousy.  Some people take advantage of the trials and troubles of others to in some way gain something for themselves.  And another reason for some to forsake those around them who suffer is insensitivity.  Some people seem to have no feeling and they can't feel the hurts and needs of those who need them.  Often times these people will say something like, "I'll be praying for you, I'll see ya."  These people just want to get you off their back and at least temporarily out of their lives.  And then, there is fear.  Sometimes people are just afraid that they may have to hurt too and the fear causes them to forsake those who are hurting.  Another reason is that they are self centered.  These people have no room in their lives for the problems of others and they tend to avoid contact with someone who is suffering.  And finally, there are those who have a judgmental or critical spirit.  These people tend to think the person who is suffering is to blame for the problems they are having and they aren't about to help them and sometimes even make it worse by accusing them.

Now, these aren't by any means all the reasons people tend to abandon or forsake us when we suffer and there are just as many or more reasons why people suffer, but they are some of the most common reasons.  We have seen that no one is exempt from suffering and we have seen some of the reasons people forsake us, but the question is not if we will suffer or if we will ever be forsaken by those we believe to be our friends.  The question is, how will we respond when we do suffer and when we are forsaken.  Our response to both of these can make all the difference in the world in whether or not our affliction will serve to be pleasing to and to bring glory to the Lord.  First of all, no matter how we suffer it is only because the Lord allowed it to happen.  Knowing this we can better understand that the suffering we endure is not meant for our hurt.  Yes, we may have to hurt, but it is not meant for our hurt.  God never allows His children to suffer in order to drag them down, but it is always to build them up.  And it all should be to His glory.  I will never forget when I injured my knee at work.  I have a very dear friend who is 85 years old and who has had knee trouble for many years and I will never forget the look that came upon his face when he learned of my knee injury.  That look was one of true compassion and it was one that I don't believe could ever be faked.  This dear friend of mine had suffered the same pain that I was going through and he could really sympathize with me and he could really pray for me.  Along about the same time that I had my knee injury, there were several people around me who also suffered knee injuries.  Well, I knew just how they felt and I could without even trying have real compassion for those people.  Also, when I prayed for those people it seemed to be more fervent prayer than it could have been otherwise.  Now, I know that it is no joy to suffer and I know that no one actually desires to suffer, but the fact of the matter is, we are all going to suffer and how we respond to that suffering is more important than the suffering. 

A few days ago a man I know where I work had a heart attack at work and when they got him to the hospital, he suffered another one.  And moments before the Lord put it upon my heart to write this little article, my wife informed me that another man I know had just had a heart attack and he too had another one at the hospital.  Well, I have never been confirmed to have had a heart attack, but I have been hospitalized with what I was sure was a heart attack, and I can sure sympathize with these two men and as I pray for them it is with more compassion than if I had never experienced it.  So you see, no suffering is eternal for God's children and though we don't cherish the thought of suffering, we can indeed rejoice in knowing that we have responded in the right way when we use that suffering to the edifying of others and to the glory of the Lord.

How then should we respond when others forsake us in our time of suffering and need?  There is but one acceptable response.  Forgiveness.  Jesus, as He hung upon that cross, forsaken by His friends, said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."  Luke 23:34.  And Stephen, when he was about to die from the his wounds, "And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge.  And when he had said this, he fell asleep."  Acts 7:60.  And Paul, when he found himself forsaken and no man stood with him said, "I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge."  2 Timothy 4:16.  All these examples I have given suffered greatly and all were terribly forsaken and all had the same response to it and that response was forgiveness.  When we are forsaken, we have no right to hold it against them no matter what they may do.

Now friends, I realize that all this may really sound pretty bleak and if we were without defense it truly would be.  But we are not defenseless.  Our defense and deliverance is the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Unlike when Paul said that no man stood with him, Jesus not only stands with us, but He also stands within us.  I will never leave you nor forsake you.  That's what Jesus said and it is true.  When Jesus rose from that grave and when He ascended back up to heaven, He went there to be seated on the right hand of God, but when Stephen was about to turn loose of his life Jesus wasn't seated at the right hand of God.  He stood up.  "But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up steadfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God.  And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God."  Acts 7:55-56.  Friends, it's always the darkest just before the dawn, but if in our deepest darkest moments, we will just open our eyes we will see the light of the Son of God.  It is my prayer that this little article has served as a real and lasting blessing to all those who may read it and that when you suffer it will be of a great comfort and inspiration to you.  Let us thank Him for the promise, the assurance, and the presence of a true friend.